Wednesday, September 1, 2010

blue #1 (for Derek Jarman): Steve Dalachinsky [18]

blue #1 (for Derek Jarman)

the famous
the near famous
the how‑do‑you‑do‑need‑more
room room‑mates
the trackers       who come seeking the grail
getting high off the souls
of our boots
the zodiac
spinning like a sister        we've shot thru with pellets
     a carnival's worth of time
          over & over ( & over )
               in the ha‑ha gallery

the Famous
they'll Karess you
with their charm
& kill you with their false pride
& sad egos -

                         writing one haiku a day
                                  is good exercise
                                          if you "know" what haiku

      i am not gotama's brother
           or child
                     or disciple

    i am crippled     white     american     jewboy
      a drip drip       in the arm of god

      ( we are all suicidal ) ( the brilliant flat chested
                                                     mix‑bred       nervous little woman
                                                                said )

yes       ‑       but we all don't know it
                                                 & we're all killers too

                                                possible partial recovery
                                                                if the side effects
                                                      don't kill you
                                        live with your fame like a virus
                                                 & your virus            like fame                                                             both will suck your life away

i am not comfortable       with my illness
i do not like going blind
      being blind

               my bowels & my heart
                      they bleed

                                                                                     blue paper
                                                                                     blue jacket
                                                   blue walls.

Steve Dalachinsky
New York City, NY, USA


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